Your Questions Answered

Your Questions Answered

Probably the most common question I am asked by enquirers about their possible sex addiction or porn addiction is “Am I addicted?”  Well there are several key indicators we can use to answer this and one is the very reason you have been prompted to look at this site – and that is that you are right now experiencing unpleasant negative effects on your life and those around you.  Your behaviours have been so compelling and over-whelming that they have brought about awful and distressing consequences that you would not ordinarily choose. 

Other key indicators include lack of control over the behaviours despite your better judgement and values; excessive time, energy and pre-occupation with planning and indulging in the behaviours; and negative impacts on such areas as your work performance, health, mental state, self-esteem and also people around you such as partners and children.  Sometimes the behaviours have gone so far as to lead to police involvement.  Often the behaviours will be accompanied by secrecy, a sort-of double-life, shame, guilt and self-loathing.

The next biggest question is “Can I be cured?”. The answer is of course a resounding ‘Yes’ and whilst you might not be optimistic about that at the moment you have to remember that addictive behaviours are just that – behaviours; this means that they can be identified easily, changed, managed and controlled – for good.

Porn addiction and sex addiction are not normally medical or genetic conditions – they result largely from environmental factors unique to the individual.  My clients are almost all very pleasantly surprised, after a lifetime of sex and porn addiction, to find that stopping and getting in control are both simple and relatively short processes.  Actually, the hardest part of overcoming sex and porn addictions is this part – that is, making the decision to get help from someone and that is due mostly to the shame and embarassment associated with the behaviours.  Once this step has been taken, the rest is mostly plain sailing.

You may be wanting to know about what the treatment involves.  Well, firstly let me say what it doesn’t involve – there is no fancy or mysterious psycho mumbo-jumbo – you will not be lying on a couch undergoing psychoanalysis of your deepest unconscious.  Far from it – my treatment programme is very focused and concrete – I like to call it therapeutic coaching because we identify what is the driving force behind the behaviours which are usually symptoms of an underlying root cause.  So in the same way that you repair a puncture rather than keep pumping a flat tyre up day after day, we look at the root causes of the addiction and address those.  I will help you answer the question “Why do I keep doing this?” so you can regain control.  Often relationship, personality, work issues and family histories need to be addressed.  Sometimes previous trauma experiences are causal factors and we will resolve those too.

Most of my clients are in satisfactory control of their addictive behaviours within 2-3 months and keep up with sessions so that they can sustain this and also learn more about themselves, gain new insights and strategies that can massively improve the quality of their life.  The number of sessions you will need depends on your history – for example, recently acquired addictions can be largely dealt with in 6-8 sessions whereas lifelong addictions are more likely to need up to and above 12 sessions.  My aim is to get you to a point where you are fully-functioning and self-managing so that sessions can be less frequent or terminated.

The packages for treatment are priced affordably to promote access to the treatment and they are well worth the investment when contrasted with the negative outcomes of addiction such as losing a job or divorce.

My final word is to encourage you to at least have a consultation session here or elsewhere before things get out of hand and certainly before the behaviours corrupt your life, relationship and reputation.  I look forward to maybe hearing from you and thank you for listening.