What is Sex and Porn Addiction - self-assessment

What is it?

Sex addiction behaviours can include compulsive masturbation and pornography, frequent use of paid sex workers, multiple affairs, stranger sex, fetishes, on-line sex and sometimes sexual offending.  The addictive behaviours do not mean that an addict is bad, immoral or abnormal in any way but they do mean something needs addressing before addicts self-destruct and negative consequences such as loss of marriage, loss of job or police involvement.  Behaviours can be changed through the use of specialist professional treatment.

Those with sexually related addictive behaviours and compulsions may have relied on the behaviours for a long time and accept them as 'normal' until some form of discovery by partners or the police.

How do I know if I am an addict - self-assessment?

If the behaviours are getting more out of your control or pose a risk to other aspects of your life and health you may be experiencing addictive behaviours.  Trust your instincts - if you are worried and concerned then it is worth checking out.  If it is not sex or porn addiction then addressing the worry might in itself be useful. If you are answering yes to any of the following questions you may have addictive and compulsive behaviours that require treatment:

Have the sexual behaviours been a key part of your life for many years?

Are you drawn towards porn and other sexual activities at every opportunity ie being alone?

Are you wasting a lot of time, energy and money on porn or other sexual activities which could be used for more rewarding things?

Do you have a wish to control or reduce the behaviours but find it difficult to do so?

Have the repetitive sexual behaviours negatively affected one or more aspects of your life such as relationships, couple sex, work, health, finances, mental health and friendships? 

If you have said yes to two or more of these you would benefit from a free, confidential and no-commitment initial consultation by phone or text chat - you can also see this video for more guidance.

(watch video on Diagnosing Sex and Porn Addiction and Starting Treatment here

How do I stop?

We will help you understand and address what might be the root cause of your sex addiction or porn addiction and then give you techniques and strategies to free yourself from the addictive behaviours and compulsions and build a healthy lifestyle.  How long recovery takes will depend on your commitment to change - you have already taken the first step by reading this - but people can, and do, overcome sex addiction and take back control of their lives within a relatively short space of time. Our service is non-judgemental and completely confidential. 

Related content: Watch video of Steve's presentation on the Causes of Sex and Porn Addiction and How to Stop here

What happens in the therapy?

Therapeutic discussion and some written tasks depending on your preferred learning style.  If required, work will be done on addressing key issues that may be triggering the behaviours such as stress, trauma, low self-esteem and low confidence. A recovery plan with goals and activities will be agreed. Through sex addiction counselling you will be helped to gain new insights into the roots of your sex addiction or porn addiction and develop new perspectives on life and your values. 

Support for Couples

I work mostly with the individual experiencing addiction or compulsive behaviour difficulties.  However, as the partner is such an important part of the addicts life, it is critical that partners are involved in the treatment and recovery process in some way.  The following list outlines the options open to couples and partners:

1. Recommended option - couple treatment and support programme where I work with the couple initially then the partner of the addict receives support from an external, trusted and trained counsellor.  This is a structured package designed to help each individual get the support they need for themselves, give the relationship a good opportunity to re-build but also allow partners to consider/discuss their own options confidentially.
2. I can also meet with partners in an 'information, advice and guidance' session to answer questions about sex addiction and porn addiction and discuss in general terms what the work with their partner entails and what they can do to look after themselves. 
3. I am able to work with partners of those with addictive behaviours where I am not already involved.

I am not able to provide both partners with individual ongoing sessions for an extended period as there is a risk of confidentiality being broken and of the sessions becoming a form of mediation.  However, the combination of a small number of individual sessions, followed by couple sessions is an acceptable option.