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Porn Addiction Counselling and Treatment

Porn is now widely accepted as potentially addictive alongside many classic forms of addiction such as drink, drugs, gambling and under- or over-eating. It is a difficult subject as many people accept the use of porn as a perfectly normal aspect of their sex life so deciding when porn use is an addiction or just recreational needs clarification.

Relationships

If you are in a committed relationship porn use should not be a secret from your partner.  If it is it does not make it an addiction but it is a problem – just ask yourself why you keep it a secret.  The probable answer is that your partner would disapprove.  The simple answer then is either to disclose and negotiate what happens next or stop now and keep quiet.  If the secret use of porn carries on and you are unable to stop then your behaviours are sounding addictive.   If you decide to risk keeping porn use (and other on-line sex-related activities for that matter) a secret then remember that for many partners when it is discovered (as it almost always is – being very difficult to cover all your tracks forever)  it will seem like you have been having an affair – they will feel just as betrayed and deceived as if you were having sex with another person.  Therefore, do not think of porn use as innocent and acceptable – to a partner who doesn’t know  it is most likely to be the opposite.

It is a social myth that porn ‘is just what a man does’.  Porn is a not a requirement for being a man – this we might say is a modern urban myth.  Here at Esteem Therapy we are not campaigners against porn, some are able to control their use of it, in or out of relationships, perfectly well – we just know from our experience that for many people, especially younger men, porn use can escalate into something very destructive and may also be a ‘gateway’ to other risky and addictive behaviours which get in the way of leading a healthy life.

If you are spending long periods of time during the week looking at porn then ask yourself if you are neglecting other things.  If you realise the answer is ‘yes’ then porn use is already having a negative impact.  This is likely to carry on with the negative consequences building up until you reach crunch point – your partner finds out or your work performance suffers or you withdraw too much from your friends and social activities to the point of crisis.

Singles

The issue of keeping secrets from and betraying a partner is not one that affects you,  however this does not make excessive porn use any more acceptable or beneficial.  Excessive porn use is likely to keep you from making and maintaining more fulfilling relationships and may end up being your ‘friend’ that you depend on. After so long depending on porn for security, comfort and sexual relief it is paradoxically likely to be difficult for you to break the habit and craving and seek out the things that will stop you being isolated – family, friends and relationships or more fulfilling activities such as keeping fit or learning.  Getting treatment will enable you to get your life back in balance, on track and to make it more satisfying and rewarding.  In short you will be in control of your life not porn.

Modern porn addiction

Many of Esteem’s clients are under 35 years.  They are part of a generation that grew up with the availability of the internet and easy access to a huge range of pornography and other sex-related sites.  If this is you then like others we are working with you may be starting to settle down into a permanent relationship or be having difficulties finding a partner to settle down with, perhaps experiencing either no other sexual outlet than porn or too many short-term ones that are ultimately unfulfilling or lead nowhere.

You may also be experiencing feelings of loneliness and shame which put a barrier between you and the rest of the world.  You may have become so withdrawn that low moods or even depression may have become regular features of your life.  This has also set you up for possible problems in finding the ‘right’ relationship (because they are never good enough compared to the ‘perfection’ of porn) or in getting the intensity of pleasure that porn has provided or it may even be affecting your ability for ‘normal’ couple sex.  

Life Without Porn – Is It Possible and How?

Yes it is possible to have an exciting and fulfilling life without excessive or even any pornography.  The vast majority of people manage quite well without it and are not dependent on it.  

Our clients learn how to switch from a porn-dominated, unhealthy life-style to one which is healthy, rewarding and in tune with their inner values. Like our clients you can learn techniques and strategies to control any cravings and lead a dependency-free life without a need to turn to porn whenever things go wrong or you are left on your own with time on your hands.  Importantly, by getting help you can discover and manage the things that have limited your self-esteem and learn new personal insights and skills to give you the confidence to enjoy life and relationships to the full.

Don't be afraid to contact us on 07539 952864 to simply find out if our Porn addiciton counselling in Yorkshire can meet your needs before committing.

Interested?

Contact us using the form below or call us on 07711 887391.

Please Note: Do not send your partner's or someone else's details without their knowledge. This is a breach of trust and also unlawful use of their personal data. Please call if you are worried about someone or need help yourself and I can advise you of the best course of action.

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