You (or your partner) may be part of the on-line porn generation – that is you grew up as internet porn also exploded into the cyber world and took hold. If that is the case you have found your way to this page probably because you (or your partner) also grew up using internet porn and it is becoming a problem in your lives.
I am calling this generation affected by porn in this way as ‘pornolescents’ – porn has become etched into their psyche in ways that previous generations never got anywhere near. I have written a blog here before about the normalising of porn – because it isn’t illegal to look at porn (excepting child abuse images and some other extreme forms) porn use has become ‘accepted’ in our world, even if it is in an implicit, crept-in sort of way. For the pornolescents, this is a major issue as this generation is just forming long-term relationships and ‘settling down’ – unfortunately whilst harbouring a highly flammable secret – porn use as an adult.
So what’s the problem you might ask? Partners will just accept it as ‘normal’ or if they don’t pornolescents will just give up porn now they are adults, right? Not quite! If partmers accept it as ‘normal’ they are also welcoming into their home and relationship a potentially fatal toxin combining a world of fantasies, artificial expectations about sex and in all likelihood domineering demands for sex that matches the on-line illusions.
If they don’t accept is as normal then it becomes a secret setting up the inevitable discovery down the line and a subsequent explosion between the partners created by s deep sense of betrayal and deceit. Expecting pornolescents to just give up porn after anything between 10 and 20 years of often daily diets of PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) is like expecting a lottery winner to turn down their winnings – it isn’t going to happen just like that.
The difficulty is that daily porn viewing from the age of 12/13 which seems to be typical carves a deep-rooted ravine in the brain’s structure which has attained super-powers of resistance to change and also demands constant attention and feeding. If you or your partner is a victim of pornolescence don’t accept it – get help.