Pointers for Partners (of sex and porn addicts)
Many partners contact me for help and information about how to deal with their partner’s compulsive sexual behaviours. If this is your situation you might find the following reflections from my dealings with partners helpful. How Esteem Therapy can help partners – I can offer partners counselling support during a difficult time of discovery, disclosure or […]
Is Porn Use Normal?
Perhaps the answer to this depends on your moral standpoint or what your values are. Or maybe porn use is a generation-sensitive activity ie the internet makes it more ‘normal’. Whatever your personal response to this question is, the fact remains that there are some aspects of porn use that we can be absolutely certain […]
The Dangers of On-line Dating and Sex
I am probably telling you something you already know and I also recognise that the nature of addictive and compulsive behaviours means that this knowledge will be conveniently discarded (or distorted) to permit ‘acting out’. But it has to be said anyway – not everyone sees the news every day and miss the messages out […]
When did you get your porn bug?
You (or your partner) may be part of the on-line porn generation – that is you grew up as internet porn also exploded into the cyber world and took hold. If that is the case you have found your way to this page probably because you (or your partner) also grew up using internet porn and […]
Sex and Porn Addiction – Negative Consequences Clients Have Experienced
If you have not experienced these yet then ask yourself if you are heading towards them and what is the level of risk? Is it a high level of risk – such as getting found out or is it a lower level of risk such as not being in a relationship (many of the big […]
Your Questions Answered
Probably the most common question I am asked by enquirers about their possible sex addiction or porn addiction is “Am I addicted?” Well there are several key indicators we can use to answer this and one is the very reason you have been prompted to look at this site – and that is that you are right […]
Sex and porn addiction – the basics explained…
What is addiction and when does it become a problem? We are all addicted in some way. We all love our routines, our favourite rituals and habits, perhaps a favourite drink such as the coffee we need at work, or a particular food, or even a place we like to visit frequently. Addictions become a […]
Six Simple Ways To Build Bullet-Proof Commitment to Ending Your Sex or Porn Addicton
Commitment to change is the most critical element of being successful in achieving full recovery from addictive behaviours. Steely determination, willpower and/or partner ultimatums can go a long way but without personal commitment to the cause you may lack the emotional and psychological momentum to behave differently when it counts. Common to all addictions is the all-powerful […]
Bad Flow Bad, Good Flow Good – This Switch will Instantly Help Sex Addicts
FLOW experiences Flow is a word used to describe an optimal or peak experience. If you can master regular use of good flow experiences then you will have one of the most potent weapons against addictive behaviours on your side. By achieving flow experiences you will boost your feel-good neuro-chemicals so that negative feeling states are less […]
Sex Helps to Manage Anxiety
But…its not the right way to do it! What do I mean? If you-experience one or several of the many forms of anxiety such as social anxiety or general anxiety then you may have developed a coping mechanism. This might be compulsive sex or porn use which helps to relieve anxiety through the production of […]