If you have not experienced these yet then ask yourself if you are heading towards them and what is the level of risk? Is it a high level of risk – such as getting found out or is it a lower level of risk such as not being in a relationship (many of the big negatives arise from relationships and family). Actually, is it maybe a nonsense to even discuss levels of risk – when the loss of a career and reputation or destroying families are such high prices to pay that any risk is ‘high’?
Damage to Relationships
This is the most commonly occuring negative consequence of sex and porn addiction. Mostly the damage is to an intimate relationship with boy/girlfriends, partners and husbands/wives but also occurs with social friends, friends of the family and other contacts in the social network. Addicts usually realise when they have been discovered that this is the most important thing in their lives and they have been somehow ‘disassociating’ from their relationship so they can continue their addictive behaviours.
Children Finding Out
Clients whose children have discovered them acting out or have been told by the partner find this more disturbing than partners finding out. They know it is something that will always be part of how their children see them because once known it can’t be unknown. They also know that their children will also feel betrayed and even shameful that one of their parents has done these things.
Job Loss
Getting fired for looking at on-line porn, or not performing well due to poor physical and mental states or bringing the firm’s reputation into question is highly damaging to addicts self-esteem and future career opportunities as well as being a financial problem. Clients think that they are ‘getting away with it’ when it turns out that colleagues and managers have just been waiting for the best opportunity to tackle the behaviours and issues.
Poor Sexual Performance
There is copious evidence that porn and other sex addictions can harm performance with a committed partner or short-term ones. The acting out behaviours create such a high level of arousal – such as the range and novelty offered by online porn – that ‘normal’ sex seems boring, hard work and unsatisfying and often just not exciting or arousing enough to reach the parts. Clients almost always say that once they have stopped their behaviours their normal level of libido returns and they enjoy intimacy with partners immensely and the positive psychological benefits reign supreme over the guilt and shame of acting out.
Sexually transmitted diseases
Sadly a number of clients have reported this as a consequence of their addictive behaviours. Not only is this unpleasant, and sometimes a life changer, they are also putting their partners at risk too.
Loss of self-worth and self-confidence
Without doubt this is true of all addicts. No one feels good about giving in to out of control behaviours – especially when they involve secretive, deceptiive activities which are often socially ‘unacceptable’ and are in conflict with their own values.
Police involvement
Addicts whose sex and porn addiction has escalated to illegal activities will pay the ultimate price that will cost them possibly a lifetime of shame, shunned by families and friends and major difficulties in keeping and getting jobs and careers.