Free Resources for Sex and Porn Addict – managing opportunity.
Free Resources for Sex and Porn Addict - managing opportunity.
Here you will find the Vicious to Virtuous (V2V) recovery from sex addiction and porn addiction resources for the modules which run alongside therapy sessions or can be used as a free self-help programme. This guide runs alongside the modules 1-6 and is to give ideas for managing opportunities.
Tools for managing opportunities
| Opportunity Technology | Must dos | Priority for me | Next steps |
|---|---|---|---|
| Technology is by far the most dangerous opportunity trigger for a sex or porn addict and must be controlled to safeguard abstinence. It is also probably the easiest to control-it can be switched off or minimized. The principle of this set of controls is to insertas many hurdles between you and the web as possible to at least slow down considerably your route of access. Many of the controls suggested here need only be in place for 6+ months until abstinence has moved into full recovery and cravings have diffused. Also by this time you will have other relapse prevention tools to use. |
Access to the internet MUST be controlled in as many ways as your technology allows from all your devices including laptops, PCs, I-pads, SMART phone, TV and so on. You have to work through them methodically doing any of the following that apply | Y/N | |
| Consider reducing your reliance on internet- enabled devices at all-get a retro phone, lock away i-pads and disable TV to internet links. Most people can manage by borrowing a partners’ device from time to time if internet access is required or using an internet café etc. | Y/N | ||
| If you must have internet access ie for work etc then filters, blockers and parental controls need to be activated using pin codes held by a trusted helper. Devices and internet service providers have their own settings for web access and you can also download free and paid-for software to block certain sites and images. | Y/N | ||
| Cancel any profiles and apps for dating, porn, web cam and chat sites etc. remove any contacts related to the above from your phone if keeping it. Do not answer to numbers you don’t recognize and change your phone number if old contacts persist in calling or messaging. | Y/N |
| Opportunity Time | Must dos | Priority for me | Next steps |
|---|---|---|---|
| Time-having too much “spare” or unallocatedtime is time just waiting to befilled by sexual acting out-you may be creating this opportunity unknowingly, for example by staying up late after your partner has gone to bed or staying away from home for work more than you need to. Initially, to support abstinence, time needs to be sometimes used trivially if it means abstinence is safeguarded. | Not staying away for work so often. Travelling home will absorbtime that otherwise might be an opportunity trigger. | Y/N | |
| Having more interests and hobbies, such as exercise, home DIY, going to the cinema or reading to make better use of free time. | Y/N | ||
| Spending more time with your children, partners, family or friends. | Y/N | ||
| Having a more healthy sleeping regime including going to bed earlier (more interests and physical activity helps with this). | Y/N | ||
| Planning ahead so time is always allocated for active relaxation, socialising, exercising, home DIY (this is not to plan your life to the nth degree but it helps to have enjoyable and productive things to select from when you see a few hours approaching) | Y/N | ||
| Changing your daily routine so that unallocated time is not unconsciously ‘created’ such as getting home early before a partner, getting up early before the family and choosing not to participate with the family orfriends in other activities. | Y/N |
| Opportunity Being alone | Must dos | Priority for me | Next steps |
|---|---|---|---|
| This will be the key opportunity for most sex addicts as sexually compulsive activities are kept secret from the people around them. | Stay in the public eye or in the presence of family members or friends Go out with your partner and children and involve yourself more with wider family activities. | Y/N | |
| If your partner goes away arrange something on those days and seek out the company of others. | Y/N | ||
| Working from home is a very common and high risk opportunity so go to the workplace more often, use instant distractions when work is done or becomes boring. | Y/N | ||
| If staying away at hotels for work purposes read a newspaper or book in the hotel lounge and plan activities such as eating out or the cinema to stay out of the hotel room. | Y/N | ||
| If staying away at hotels for work purposes read a newspaper or book in the hotel lounge and plan activities such as eating out or the cinema to stay out of the hotel room. | Y/N | ||
| If you live alone or are not in a relationship join a gym, a local club or group so that time alone at home is reduced as much as possible and networks are extended. | Y/N | ||
| Invite friends round for a home-cooked meal and take up or re-vitalise a pursuit such as cycling, running, walking, fishing or photography. | Y/N |