Sex and Porn Addiction News

Reasons People Get Addicted to Sex and Porn - Part 3 - Lifetraps; How We See Ourselves In The World

Addictive behaviours don't take hold because they are desirable and pleasurable. They serve a purpose and while that purpose exists the behaviours will continue. Addictive behaviours patterns are dysfunctional ways of dealing with something so to promote recovery work we have to identify the function of the dysfuntion. Often the function of these behaviours is to regulate intolerable emotional states as they provide a self-soothing escape and relief. In previous blogs I have explored the role of relationships and trauma experiences in leading to those emotional states (these can also in tu.. Read More

Get Distracted! How the Simple Technique of Distraction Can Aid Recovery From Sex and Porn Addiction (updated 29/9/22)

There is now a podcast that supports this blog at https://youtu.be/3jTqTZqgCXw Ever tried working out two sums at the same time? Or reading a book whilst having a conversation?  Dual-tasking like this is not something we generally do is it? Our brains are largely equipped to handle one cognitive process at a time, excepting where we practice really hard. For example, we can drive a car whilst having a conversation (although the laws on mobile phone use whilst driving is based on the notion that this is risky as many have discovered to their cost). Of course we can physically mu.. Read More

Well, How Did I Get Here?

Those of you reading this of a certain generation might recognise this line from 'Once In A Lifetime' by the Talking Heads. If you don't then I commend this track, and the band, to you. The line captures a thought that often occurs to those acting compulsively or addictively (these terms are inter-changeable as far as I'm concerned) which, when worded differently, also sounds like 'I have never been attracted to a, b or c but I find myself 'addicted'/'obsessive'/'compulsive' about it - I feel so ashamed, what has happened to me? Am I bad/abno.. Read More

You Don't Have To Be a Dog!

A renowned behavioural scientist taught dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell.  Pavlov discovered 'classical conditioning', a process by which our brains can be automated to respond to certain stimulii. In these situations the link between stimulus and response becomes so automatic, it slips out of conscious awareness - perhaps into something sometimes called the pre-conscious.  Addictive and compulsive behaviours fall into this category without a doubt - so its useful to know this fascinating piece of science to aid recovery. Pavlov trained his dogs by ringing a bell ev.. Read More

Porn and Politics Don't Mix!

'Moment of madness' was how, now disgraced and resigned, Member of Parliament Neil Parish explained his viewing of pornography in the most public place imaginable, the House of Commons, last week. I wonder how many of those who self-diagnose as porn addicts and the many thousands of others who regularly look at porn took time to reflect over the MP's fall from grace due to pornography.  As a specialist therapist in this area the case certainly throws up some very important points to me. Firstly, the 'moment of madness' is quite possibly a serious minimisatio.. Read More