Don’t put yourself in this position where you risk your career, relationships, friendships and economic well-being. Your whole future might be at stake – so much so that these behaviours are too risky to even go near – unless you, like the unfortunate individuals below, experience uncontrollable compulsions and addictive tendencies.
Recent news stories caught our eye here at Esteem Therapy Yorkshire. A recent storyline brings home the danger of ‘porn revenge’ whereby explicit images are used after a ‘relationship’ to damage an ex. The examples in the story include pupils at a school who used pictures on mobile phones to smear exs; and adults who have also been blackmailed into having sex with their tormentors after private and indecent images were posted on the internet. In one case a taxi driver blackmailed a passenger into having sex after discovering naked images of her. A man is also said to have been threatened into having gay sex through fear a woman would post naked photos of him on Facebook.
In a high profile case involving the politician Brooks Newmark is an example of a ruined career and reputation following the sending of explicit pictures and lewd messages by mobile phone to a male journalist posing as a woman. Read the full article here. In yet another recent case a teachers’s career is in tatters because he sent a pupil sexual messages. Article here.
Only in one of the cases did the media tell us about the ’cause’ of the individual’s inappropriate behaviours and that he is now seeking psychological help for depression.
The dangers associated with sharing explicit materials with people other than those with whom you have a committed relationsip (although this in itself is at least medium risk) are immense, especially if done using digital devices. It is too easy for those people to take revenge, blackmail or just simply be nasty and destroy careers, livelihoods and relationships.
Before you put yourself at risk – seek help! Esteem Therapy counselling services for sex and porn addiction can help you stop this before it ruins your life.
Combined Individual/Couple Therapy and Treatment Programme for Addicts and their Partners.
If you are someone in a committed relationship with secret or found-out out-of-control sexual behaviours including porn use and cybersex OR you are a partner of someone in this position then you might find this approach helpful. It is important to remember that whatever treatment option you select then the relationship will play a very large part in your recovery. The addicted partner will be affected by their partner’s initial reactions and ongoing responses as well as their own shame. The partner will be seriously affected by the disclosure or discovery of the behaviours and will experience a form of trauma arising from intense feelings of betrayal leading to loss of sleep, numbness, shock, anger, loss of concentration and at worst, thoughts of suicide (70% of partners in research experienced severe impairment to social, work and general functioning aspects of their lives). Both of you will be affected so both need professional help. If both commit to doing some serious work then the treatment path will be shorter and more cost-effective. If only one partner completes treatment there is always the risk that the partner that has not made changes will deliberately or inadvertently sabotage the progress made and everyone will be back at square one and the relationship will be at risk.