Sex and Porn Addiction News

Well, How Did I Get Here?

Those of you reading this of a certain generation might recognise this line from 'Once In A Lifetime' by the Talking Heads. If you don't then I commend this track, and the band, to you. The line captures a thought that often occurs to those acting compulsively or addictively (these terms are inter-changeable as far as I'm concerned) which, when worded differently, also sounds like 'I have never been attracted to a, b or c but I find myself 'addicted'/'obsessive'/'compulsive' about it - I feel so ashamed, what has happened to me? Am I bad/abno.. Read More

You Don't Have To Be a Dog!

A renowned behavioural scientist taught dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell.  Pavlov discovered 'classical conditioning', a process by which our brains can be automated to respond to certain stimulii. In these situations the link between stimulus and response becomes so automatic, it slips out of conscious awareness - perhaps into something sometimes called the pre-conscious.  Addictive and compulsive behaviours fall into this category without a doubt - so its useful to know this fascinating piece of science to aid recovery. Pavlov trained his dogs by ringing a bell ev.. Read More

Porn and Politics Don't Mix!

'Moment of madness' was how, now disgraced and resigned, Member of Parliament Neil Parish explained his viewing of pornography in the most public place imaginable, the House of Commons, last week. I wonder how many of those who self-diagnose as porn addicts and the many thousands of others who regularly look at porn took time to reflect over the MP's fall from grace due to pornography.  As a specialist therapist in this area the case certainly throws up some very important points to me. Firstly, the 'moment of madness' is quite possibly a serious minimisatio.. Read More

Fighting Without Fighting - the art of beating cravings in sex and porn addiction

In the classic martial arts movie Enter The Dragon you can see portrayed in humourous form a traditional tale of a Samurai called Musashi who was expert in the art of 'fighting without fighting'. Although he was a master swordsman he rarely had to use his weapons to defeat opponents.  Alan Watts tells the story in his inimitable way on this short Youtube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TlQjGf-s5s The hollywood portrayal of the Samurai tale of the use of zen in the art of swordsmanship shows Bruce Lee, no amateur at weapon-less physical combat himself, lure a goading.. Read More

Break Through the Fog of Denial - Free resources to get you started with recovery

Porn and sex addicts can stay in denial for many years before finally experiencing serious negative consequences which finally push them to get help for their problem.  Some of my clients have been in denial for 30 years, convincing themselves that daily porn use or the use of escorts is somehow 'needed' or even 'normal’. Denial is distorted thinking.  Addicts somehow manage to convince themselves, unconsciously, that their behaviours are not a problem and by doing so give themselves a licence to carry on self-destructing.  In most cases, addicts eventu.. Read More